Mastering Cold Email Copy: What Hits the Mark and What Misses the Inbox

Introduction: The Power of Cold Email

Welcome to the wild world of cold emailing! For decades, tech giants like Google and Microsoft have tried to stop unsolicited emails from hitting our inboxes, often with success. But a well-crafted cold email can be your golden ticket in the digital din. It’s not just about sending a message; it’s about starting a meaningful conversation, showcasing your expertise, and converting prospects into leads.

Think of cold emailing like making a splash at a networking event – it’s not about being the loudest but about saying something valuable. It's more like Ted Lasso winning hearts one handshake at a time, and your cold emails should build genuine connections.

Understanding Your Audience & Avoiding Spam

Before you even think about hitting "send," do your homework. 

1. Seriously, who are you emailing?

2. What keeps them up at night? 

3. What makes them tick? 

This isn’t just data collection; it’s about getting inside their heads. Think of it like preparing for an interview – you wouldn’t wing it without research. 

And for the love of cold email, avoid the rookie mistake of using generic templates stuffed with sales jargon. That’s a one-way ticket to Spamville. It’s like trying to fit into the Marvel Cinematic Universe without understanding the storyline - people will spot the BS from a mile away. So be prepared & hit the right notes.

Avoiding spam isn’t just about technicalities - it’s about relevance. If your email looks like a one-size-fits-all sales pitch or fails to connect with the recipient’s needs, it will likely be flagged as spam. 

Now, you may bypass the spam filter set forth by ISPs but you won’t bypass your prospects' spam filter. If you don’t then you’ll be manually marked as spam, and we can say goodbye to your sender reputation.

Certain words and phrases will trigger the spam filters. Now, one instance may not be enough to cause the email to be filtered; however, the more you have throughout, the greater the chance:

• Words - ‘free’, ‘guarantee’, ‘opportunity’, ‘earn’, ‘increase’, ‘Urgent’

• Phrases - ‘free trial’, ‘increase sales’, ‘increase revenue’, ‘ no obligation’, 

In addition to the words and phrases, there’s another key spam trigger you need to be aware of: attachments. Our analysis of the 1 million emails sent through our platform shows that emails with attachments are opened 30% less than those without. Attachments often flag emails as spam, and let’s be honest – would you open an attachment from a cold email? Neither would your prospect. 

Avoid them until you’ve established communication and scheduled a delivery call. Stick to your message upfront and save the attachments for later once you’ve built trust, and at least received a reply.

Here’s another tip: overly formatted text. You might think bolding or underlining certain parts of your email adds emphasis, but our research shows otherwise. Emails with bolded or underlined copy received 56% fewer replies across our sample set. It comes across as passive-aggressive, not persuasive. Plus, it screams, “I’m trying to sell you something!” – which is a fast track to getting ignored. 

For instance, look at the following examples of what to avoid: This email contains several red flags for the spam filters:

This email contains several red flags for the spam filters:

• Excessive punctuation & capitalization in the subject line (e.g. 300% Instantly!!!).

• Over-the-top claims like “guaranteed” or “increase by 300%.”

• Urgency and scarcity tactics (“Act now”, “don’t miss out”).

• It's a generic tone that feels like it’s sent to a mass audience.

• Spammy call-to-action (“CLICK HERE to get started!!!”)

Example B:

This is better than the previous example; however, this will not bypass your recipient's mental spam filters. Essentially, their BS meter is going off. Here’s why:

• Bold Promises: “10x [company name] in 10 min” sounds too good to be true, and will raise their skepticism. 

• Subject Line Formatting & Clickbait: “10x” and “10min” will be flagged by spam filters due to the overly promotional tone and lack of clarity. Also, the body content states triple their monthly run rate, but the subject line is 10x, this is a clickbait line that will notify the bulls**t meter. 

• Lack of Specific Details: While this does get points for brevity, this email is vague about the idea. The lack of transparency will be off-putting for recipients and they will instantly forget about this.

• Lack of personalization & value: While you know their name, it shows you haven’t done your homework. What position is your prospect in? Is your prospect a decision-maker? How can this benefit your prospect’s department? There was no teaser at all on how you can get “100 of the best customers”, so why should the prospect schedule a call?

Crafting Subject Lines that Grab Attention & Spark Curiosity

Your subject line is your first impression and possibly only chance to get your prospect to open your email. No pressure right? Think of it like the “Breaking Bad” pilot: if you don’t grab their attention in the first few seconds, they’re tuning out. 

So, let’s not waste it on bland snooze-fests like: 

•  “Meeting Request”, 

• “Optimise your reach with…,” or, face-palm, 

• “[Name] Contingent Staffing Partner.”

Instead, aim for subject lines that pack as much punch as “Stranger Things” did in season one. Here’s some quick tips to get you started: 

• Benefit-Driven: "tip to land more leads”

• Intriguing Question: "More clients in 2024?”

• Personalized Approach: "Jane, regarding your work on [ABC]"

Are you already sending emails? Great! Now, let’s enhance your cold emails. Dive in and transform your subject lines from “meh” to “must-open by reading our guide to crafting killer email subject lines – your open and reply rates will thank you. 

The Art of the Strong Opening & Brevity

First impressions matter, and your cold email’s opening line is no exception. Spoiler alert: You don’t need to open with, “I hope this finds you well.” According to our research, pleasantries like “How are you?” had zero impact on reply rates. That’s right – those friendly phrases aren’t pulling their weight. They add fluff that your prospect skims right on over.

Instead of unnecessary filler, go straight for the jugular (in a nice way). You have 10 seconds to hook them before they hit delete. Research shows emails under 150 words are 45% more likely to get a response. Busy executives don’t have time for long-winded messages.

1. Start with a Personal Touch: 

Example: "I saw your recent post on [topic] and had to reach out..."

Why It Works: Opening with a personalized reference shows you’ve done your homework and are genuinely interested, not just sending a generic pitch. It’s like showing up at a networking event with a tailored comment about their latest project rather than a generic handshake.

2. Address Their Potential Pain Points: 

Example: "FX can get expensive and I noticed you’re working with a lot of US customers, have you been able to offer them payment in dollars yet?“

Why It Works: Acknowledging a common problem demonstrates empathy and builds credibility. By mentioning similar challenges similar clients faced and overcame, you show that you understand their situation and have relevant solutions—think of it as establishing rapport before diving into the details.

3. Offer a Solution: 

Example: "We’ve got just the thing to help with [problem]..."

Why It Works: Hinting at a solution piques interest without launching into a full sales pitch. It’s like giving a teaser trailer for a blockbuster movie—enough to entice them to learn more but not so much that you reveal the entire plot.

In summary, the opening of your cold email should do three things: personalize, empathize, and tease. It sets the stage for a meaningful conversation and prevents your email from being another unread message. Treat this part of your email like a crucial first impression—make it count!

Nail Personalisation Get Straight to the Benefits (value add & social proof)

Personalization 

Personalization goes beyond inserting the recipient’s name into the email. It’s about demonstrating that you understand their world and challenges. Start by acknowledging something relevant to them, a recent achievement, a common pain point, or a topic they’re passionate about. This shows that your email isn’t just another generic blast but a thoughtfully crafted message intended for them.

Take a look at the opening in the above example:

• “Firstly, congratulations on the remarkable visibility Richard Mille has gained with Anant Ambani’s choice of timepiece for his pre-wedding festivities”

This opening sets a positive tone and makes your email stand out. It indicates you’re engaged with their success and establishes a meaningful connection. 

Let’s look at another example:

• Opening: “[first name] – Heard your team is growing with 2 new data analyst hires – hopefully giving Sarah & David a well-deserved breather from the constant hustle. 

This works because the specific details are relevant to the recipient, while subtly highlighting the benefit of alleviating workload pressure. It’s tailored, human, and relatable—setting a strong tone for the email.

Benefits

After personalizing your email, transition smoothly into how you can offer value. This is where you align their needs with the benefits of your solution. Address their pain points directly and hint at the benefits they’ll receive, but keep it concise. This part should naturally follow from the personalization, creating a seamless narrative that feels relevant and engaging.

For instance, "Our private jet brokerage ensures your executives can reach their destinations with ease, offering a straightforward pay-as-you-go service that's available around the clock."

This benefit-driven line shows the recipient exactly how the service will make their lives easier, focusing on convenience and flexibility – two key factors that busy executives care about. 

Strong & Clear Call-to-Action

Your CTA should be the grand finale of your email - clear, compelling, and impossible to ignore. Avoid vague phrases like “Let’s Connect,” “Interested,” or “Looking forward to hearing from you.” These are as memorable as a presentation without a clear next step.

Why These CTAs Miss the Mark:

• “Let me know your thoughts”

Why it’s a Miss: It’s as unclear as a vague meeting agenda.

• “We should chat”

Why it’s a Miss: It’s non-committal and lacks direction. 

• “Interested?”

Why it’s a Miss: It’s too open-ended and doesn’t provide a specific direction.

• “Feel free to reach out if you have any questions”

Why it’s a Miss: It lacks urgency and doesn’t give your prospect a compelling reason to act immediately. 

“Can we hop on a call tomorrow so I can show you what our solution can do”
Why it’s a Miss: This is abrupt and too forward. 

Effective CTAs That Get Results:

“Would you be interested in seeing some of our work?”

• Why it Works: This CTA offers a low-pressure opportunity to engage.

“Do you need a quote for any upcoming flights?”

• Why it Works: Direct and relevant, providing a clear next step based on the recipient’s potential needs.

“Would it be useful to share insights on how she pulled it off?”

• Why it Works: This CTA piques curiosity and offers valuable insights.

“Can I share a case study on the work we did with [customer name]?”

• Why it Works: This CTA invites the prospect to engage with specific content, making it personal and relevant.

“Is it currently a priority to solve [insert challenge]?”

• Why it Works: This CTA directly addresses a specific issue the prospect may be facing and prompts consideration.

Emails with a clear and strong CTA received 4x more replies compared to CTAs that are nonexistent, vague/confusing. Make your CTA count! 

Conclusion: Test, Learn, Refine

Cold emailing isn’t a “set it and forget it” strategy - it’s more like launching a product. You wouldn’t just send it to market and hope for the best. Track performance, iterate on your messaging, and adjust as you go. It’s like running A/B tests: Monitor your open rates, see which version gets your prospects to take action, and optimize.

Sure, crafting high-quality emails takes time, especially when you’re juggling aggressive targets. But, with the right approach, your emails can evolve from digital static into a meaningful dialogue that resonates. 

Need a strategy that nails both personalization and scale? Let us take the reins. At Perlon AI, we’ll help you ditch the guesswork with our custom-built tools designed to send hyper-personalized emails at scale – without the stress and strain. Book a demo with us today to see how we can assist you craft cold emails that not only convert but spark real conversations!

Stay ahead with Perlon Insights, our monthly newsletter dedicated to cold email success. Each issue is packed with actionable tips, product features, expert advice, and breakdowns of cold emails that work and don’t to keep your outreach sharp and effective. It’s your monthly cheat sheet for cold emailing!